Perhaps I am just naive in wishing for a vaguely utopian lifestyle. I know it is unachievable but I do try my hardest to be positive, appreciative of fun and laughter and always trying to look on the bright side of life. I am not a social partygoer or the life and soul of conversation though I do enjoy being around people. I value people and do my best to get on and build relationships even if they are just superficial. I aim to be happy and content knowing that I have a faith that requires me to try and improve the environment around me. It is hard work and I know I get it wrong at times because I find it hard to do.
This week I wondered if there has been an external metaphorical dark cloud of negativity that has been following me around for many years. I could almost say that something has been trying to thwart my positive efforts - particularly in a work setting. I am not going to give details but I feel as though I don't often seem able to have people around me whom I enjoy a positive and uplifting rapport. I can only name a couple of people or so who have been a huge positive influence on me and really fired up my energy levels. At the moment I feel I have a challenge on my hands to get rid of this cloud or at least reduce its influence on me. It is so easy for me to be dragged down by the influence this cloud has and I just wish it would blow away. I know I shouldn't allow the thoughts and behaviours of others to influence me but that is easier said than done. I am wondering what to do.