Thursday, 1 January 2009

Christmas Holiday, Teeth and Creative Grumbles

Well, a week as gone by, and we have travelled down to Devon, up to Herefordshire and tomorrow will be returning home - another day in the car. Tonight is New Year's Eve and I am in a Travel Lodge with my wife and our little one who is now fast asleep on the floor. I have had three long walks, one on Dartmoor and two in Herefordshire which I have really appreciated. It has been too cold to do much drawing, writing or sitting around thinking or meditating on nature. I am disappointed at my lack of ability to get much done, but trying to force creativity into a day or location on demand is not easy nor perhaps a good idea. My time outside in places like this is so limited and precious and I almost need to have a good walk to burn off my energy rather than sit and draw or think. When I can spend more time in a place and relax into it, then perhaps I tune into subtleties and creativity more. Balancing the needs of family, holiday, work and creativity is not something I feel works well at the moment and perhaps I need to create a model that does work...

One problem I had, which annoyed me hugely, was that a filling in one of my front teeth didn't like being out in the cold and after my day on a cold and windy Dartmoor I had a very painful tooth for 24 hours or so. In Herefordshire things were better as I had borrowed a scarf but, although it kept my mouth warm, I didn't really feel I could sense the air and smells of the landscapes as well as I would normally do, particularly as I had a slight cold and stuffy nose too! I think it has now settled down and become de-sensitised a bit as it hasn't bothered me for the past day or so now.

I don't know, what does one have to do to be a brilliant creative...? Why do I struggle with this problem so much? I never feel content with where I am at - is it my lack of formal training? Perhaps I need to be in a more creative environment that actually stimulates me in the way that I find meaningful in a deeper and more personal way. Oh, I'm not going to go on about it as I get too depressed...!

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