Wednesday, 28 March 2007

Raindrops on Croft Ambrey

The following was written after a walk on Croft Ambrey (a hill in Herefordshire) around 24 July 2005. The memory of the experience is still strong and this is a place to now publish what I wrote back then.

: rain and mist : an evenings walk, cool : up though the woods : standing beneath the tall Scots Pines on the promontary : mist swirls around their tops and I am at cloud level : beneath me the valley hides and then appears as waves of mist roll : the colour subdued by the clouds : I stand in the lee of the wind against solid wood : age old weathered wood : weathered by the elements on this exposed place : tall and strong : solid and secure : I hold out my arms and embrace the peace : warm : wet : the demands of time can wait : I am alone : I am at home : here I want to be : forever : this is my belonging : no desk : no computer : no demands : no worries : no fear : just peace : embraced : I could fly out : released from a weary body : held up by emptiness : but knowing freedom : the wind swirls the cloud around me : rain drops mingle with the senses : air so fresh : I ask for healing and freedom : I ask for guidance and forgiveness : I ask for being : I ask for belonging : I ask for presence : I ask for peace in my soul :

back : along the path : stop : see the pine needles, long, slender : each holding a few drops of water : diamonds almost ; small sparkles of beauty : reflecting light : formed from the mist : still and graceful : a temporary appearance of beauty : but yet visible : I have seen it : it is seen by me : and yet above and around me are hundreds of trees : this small vision of light and colour and creation is repeated across every pine needle : on every twig : on every branch : on every tree : up and beyond : out of touch : out of sight ; but existing ; unseen : a present beauty that exists repeated across an immeasurable expanse : whether observed or not by me : it is there : such divine beauty : such infinite beauty :

surrounded by the dark forest and mist shrouded trees : rain drops : all around : not just all around but an almost infinite dimensional sound around me that has no direction and no source : but total : the sound of water droplets on wood : on bracken : on bramble on stone : on wood : on leaf : sound so totally surrounding : present throughout the wood : no-one can hear it : a present sound with no observer

a profound meeting with nature : a touching of senses : a union of the mysteries of my existence and the physical natural environment : different concepts of reality : coming together : the trees and me : sharing the rain : spiritual? : it felt a deep experience : was something reaching to my soul? : was my soul creating an emotional tie with something? : a melancholic union of longing and the present : it felt more than just a pleasurable experience : it felt as though I was touching a connectedness of spirit : felt before in life, but now acknowledged : it seemed life changing : memorable : fleeting : imagined yet tangible : has the human soul power to create such an experience and perceptions? : for what purpose? : why have that sense of beauty and connection if we are in dominion? : overwhelming peace and security : this is belonging :

The next post Struggling with Evangelical Christianity continues with this.

1 comment:

Tammy said...

Is it not the most amazing thing, to have your spirit touched this way? When I used to go to church, and we would be worshipping with song, I thought my spirit had been touched, when I prayed a rosary and felt connection, I thought my spirit had been touched. But, to be touched by the rain, the earth, the wind, life changing! It's a touch that stays with you. I can close my eyes and feel that connection, without song, without prayer. It's like deity is touching you through so many senses, that it floods your soul, and not only changes you, but changes the way you live, the way you perceive. It's not just a fleeting feeling either, it becomes who you are.